Dealing with Jealousy

A case of Jealousy.  So I tuned into one of those reality stations last week and there was this interesting murder case. It was about a man who was killed by his wife of 15 years.  A fight broke out, she saw a rival’s message on his phone and in a fit of rage she stabbed him. Now she didn’t stop at that, she went to the extreme length of hiding his body for days. She called the police and neighbors and told them that her husband hasn’t come home.

On the fifth day, she took her children to the neighbors and drove out far with the body.  Guess what? She barbecued him and ate him. She went back to the neighbors, picked her children and left the town.  she was caught three years after, with no ounce of remorse she admitted to the crime and was sentenced.

Now, this is a sorry case of jealousy.  Some, however, claim jealousy in a good dose is very helpful in a relationship because it shows that your partner cares. But what really is jealousy, is it safe to be jealous in a relationship?  Is it possible not to feel jealous when you see your partner getting too close to someone of the opposite sex?

jealousy

Jealousy is many things, it’s being protective or zealously guarding something or someone you care about. It means being suspicious of your partner’s fidelity. Jealous causes worry that you might be replaced by someone else in your partner’s life.  This is never a safe emotion even in small doses, jealousy is a feeling that stems from distrust.

In a relationship where there is complete trust, there is no room for jealousy and for those who think it’s a way of showing love, it might be true.  As humans, we consciously or unconsciously seek validation from our partners and once that is threatened we act out. We get jealous, so it’s not necessarily about love for the other person, it’s just us staking our claim. Possessiveness doesn’t necessarily mean love because love is patient and kind, love doesn’t envy or boast.

Besides, it’s a feeling we have been warned against in the Bible. James 3:16 says, ” For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist there will be disorder and every vile practice”. Is it possible not to feel jealous? Sincerely I don’t think so, after all we all humans and have little control over our feelings. What is important is not to stay jealous, then it becomes bad and the only way we can do this is by accepting the help of the holy spirit and through communication with your partner.