Tyler Perry’s Acrimony was released some six months ago with a lot of hype which was so worth. At first, I was a little bit reluctant to watch because I felt the hype might just be too much, but a good friend managed to convince me otherwise and I did. After the movie, I could not help but notice the argument that the movie spurred between both genders in the cinema – the ladies blaming Robert (Lyriq Bent), and the men blaming Melinda Gayle (Taraji P. Henson). Not to talk of the irritation, the anger, the rage, the fear it instilled in us single people, but most of all the lessons I learned which I will be highlighting here today.
My purpose of this write up is not too bore you with my cinema experience but to point out relationship lessons I learned and I think will help everybody in a godly relationship.
One important thing I learned from the movie is that while you are getting blown away and head over heels in love, do not forget to let God lead you, and to seek guidance from more matured and sound elders? I agree that there is no one-size-fits-all rule for this, but a lot of disasters can be alerted when we have the right help.
So let’s dig into the lessons!
1. Don’t act while angry
I am a firm believer of not saying things or acting at the peak of your emotions – anger especially. No matter what you feel at a particular time, do not act or say anything till you are in a normal state of mind. When you are angry, the best thing to do is nothing. In Tyler Perry’s Acrimony, the young Melinda lost her womb because she acted while she was angry at her boyfriend who cheated on her. At the end of the day, she didn’t have a happily ever after with Robert and was stuck with the results of her anger.
2. Get a life
Never center your life around a human. Humans are wired to make mistakes, and when they do your center falls and so do you. Learn to plan for your own life, have your own goals and dreams and plans for a fulfilled life. The only reason why Melinda spent all her money and energy on Robert was that she didn’t have any dreams of her own aside from getting married to Robert which she did and didn’t find it so easy. Help your partner with their dreams and help yourself with yours too. Your dreams are valid too!
3. Never lose your personality and communicate every time there is a bump
It is so easy to lose yourself when you find love and you are trying to please the person you love. But I need you to know that no matter how much you love someone, you also have yourself to take care of. Melinda lost herself in her marriage and became the doormat wife taking it all in and refused to communicate her fears and reservation to Robert which she should have done right from the beginning of their relationship.
4. Avoid entitled person
Entitled people are like leeches they feel a need to suck the life out of you without apology. They always come up with an excuse why you should carry all their responsibilities without complaining. By nature entitled people are manipulators and lazy. That was exactly who Robert was, an entitled man who felt his wife should take off his needs irrespective of how she feels why he pursued his own dreams.
5. Never enable a lazy partner who cannot prioritize
Never see the need to enable a lazy partner, once you condone a lazy partner you are opening the way for other things that come with laziness –poverty, low self-esteem, and even victimization. Melinda enabled Robert and her own victimization. Robert, in turn, could not prioritize he did not see the need to actually help his wife and felt relaxed about life while someone else lays his bed for him.
When enabling a lazy partner, most people actually think are helping them prove how good of a person they are when in fact those behaviors are backfiring and working against them. They are people pleasers and because of that, they settle in love with the wrong person and the wrong reason.
6. We must not turn a blind eye to the red flags
So much went wrong while Robert and Melinda were dating, theirs was love at first sight and they were both blinded by their feelings. They made rash decisions and set out their journey on what I consider a faulty foundation, yet they went ahead to build their marriage on it.
I am not going to point fingers at any of the characters because both had their faults. But I need you to realize that no one – man or woman – could have gone through what Melinda went through without snapping. It is just a matter of time! And whether or not she listened or did not listen to her siblings she still would have acted irrationally. My two cents. What is yours?